opportunities to cry
i am so damn sick of this depression.
i can’t sleep without the aid of alcohol or benadryl (or both)
every dream i have involves something awful, like last night-
i dreamed in VIVID detail that me and my ex-ex got back together
i went to his school to see him, he introduced me to his friends, and
he kept telling me he loved me. which will never happen in real life
(nor would i want it to)… BUT. it hurts to wake up and realize it’s all a lie
i lie to myself all the time. i act like i’m happy, but i’m really not.
the abortion, the break-up, it’s still on the back of my mind.
i wish it was as easy to forget as it was to occur, but it’s not.
i just want someone to be there for me,
someone to hold me while i cry,
and someone to force me to eat…
because i haven’t been and when i said i wanted to be skinny
this wasn’t what i had in mind.
